Join the Family and Friends Exchange!

January 15, 2014 | Leave a Comment

by Marcia Knudson, Manager of Counseling Services at Second Sense

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Hungarian wedding party from 1930s

We’re All In This Together

Remember when our parents would say something like, “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you,” right before imposing something on us that we clearly didn’t want?  They knew that we were going to be unhappy, and it hurt them when we were unhappy because they loved us.  So, what’s this got to do with what we do here at Second Sense?

As I talk to members who are moving through their process of adjusting with vision loss, they often express feelings of concern, gratitude, frustration and sadness about the primary relationships in their lives.

  • I’m worried about my wife.  Sometimes I think she’s taking this harder than I am.
  • My family has been wonderful.  I would never have gotten this far without them.
  • My boyfriend just doesn’t get it.  It makes me so mad.  It’s like he just doesn’t believe me when I say I can’t see something.
  • I think my family sees me as a burden, but nobody will admit it.

It seems clear that when someone we love is going through a traumatic event, we undergo our share of trauma as well.  We may need to do all the grocery shopping while our partner’s leg is in a cast.  If our child gets a devastating diagnosis, our world is shattered, too.  If my husband has a car accident, I too may need to alter my plans to do something I was really looking forward to.  Our daily life changes, our goals for the future look different, roles shift within a family and expectations are altered.

Let’s not forget that good things get shared, too!  Everybody gets a piece of the birthday cake, and more than one person lives in that big house after you win the lottery.  Those adjustments are easier, though.  When a significant other experiences the trauma of vision loss, we share that trauma in our own way.  There are times when we feel stuck, sad, tired, embarrassed, scared, confused, angry and guilty, just like the person we care about.  It’s not the same, but it’s not that different.

Friends and family deserve their own place to share their feelings safely with others who will understand.  For this reason, we plan to establish the Friends and Family Exchange, an online community where people can log in and read articles, ask questions, share experiences and receive support.  You can participate as much or as little as you’d like, but you will be connected to others who love someone who is experiencing vision loss.

If you’re interested, contact Marcia Knudson with questions and to express interest in joining the Friends and Family Exchange.

What recent event in your life impacted others as well?

Marcia Knudson, LCSW, is the newest member of our Second Sense team bringing many years of counseling experience.  Marcia is a graduate of North Park University and Loyola University School of Social Work.

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